These guys are AWESOME!

By Bandwagon Burt
Wind sock

The NBA Dunk Contest is back! I saw it with my own two eyes Saturday night, and it was easily the greatest dunking contest of all time! NOTHING can top it. Nothing, zilch, nada, holy smokes!

First of all, did you SEE Andre Iggodala? The man is a man among little skinny boys, jamming and slamming and doing all kind of crazy junk. The behind the back slam was AWESOME, but nothing compared to the Alley-Oop from A.I., his main man, off the BACK OF THE BACKBOARD. Iverson lobbed it up, Iggo grabbed the ball, swung it under the hoop and Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh! Sweetness! Best dunk ever!

Then there’s little Nate Robinson, who’s like 4-foot-11, and he raised the roof, Arsenio Hall style! Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo! Out of the crowd he brings none other than the LEGENDARY SUPERSTAR Anthony Jerome Webb, better known to the masses as Spud. Spud’s even shorter than Nate, so he brought the legend out onto the court, had him toss up the ball, and Nate vaulted him like he was NOTHING and took the ball to the hoop and Oooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It’s over! No questions asked! End the debate! Nate Robinson, the midget, the mighty mite, the little fella with the big heart brings home the bacon. Best dunk ever!

So then the two were in the finals – in OVERTIME – and Nate tried this running under-the-legs alley-oop to himself off the backboard and it was so fantastic, but it took him like 1,000 tries and I didn’t even get to see the dunk because I was getting another beer from the fridge but I saw the replay and Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh! Best dunk ever! Then it was Iggo’s turn and he did a reverse slam-a-jamma and BOOM SHAKALAKA Ooooohhhhhh! Best dunk ever since the semifinals ... and the judges originally gave him a tying score. But then, somebody changed their score it was Charles Barkley I think that Auburn American Bad-Ass! And that’s how it ended, in SCANDAL CITY, but that doesn’t take away from the fantastic American adventure that is the NBA Dunk Contest.

Of course, there is lots more going on like D-WADE schooling everybody in the skills challenge and Everyone’s Favorite German Dirk Nowitzki raining threes like a German army was raining artillery on the Americans in the 1940s! Was that insensitive! Kendra Wecker and Tony Parker winning the 2-ball thingy was awesome too. And that’s all before the big, big, big game tonight, it’s gonna be a throwdown and I am cheering for the Western Conference! I think Kobe’s gonna score NINETY.