Stupid, stupid America

Hi, America. You're pretty stupid.

Today Jimmy Rollins was named the MVP of the National League. This was decided by a group of sportswriters who earned the honor through ... well, I don't know. But they received the honor. And now they get to make very publicized bad decisions and abuse it.

To be brief, Matt Holliday was screwed. David Wright was screwed. Even Prince Fielder was screwed. Hell, Hanley Ramirez was screwed, since Rollins wasn't even the best shortstop in his own division. Four other Philadelphia Phillies were screwed, since Rollins finished FIFTH on his own team in OPS. Fifth! How can the fifth-best hitter on a team be considered the most valuable player in an entire league?

Flotsam was prepared for an immediate outcry from the knowledgeable fans of America. The baseball fans who make up the fabric of this land and are the backbone of America's pastime.

Turns out, you're all fucking stupid.

We browsed through the ESPN comments section of the article and read gems like these from fans:

Love all the Philly haters out there. Rollins had a great year and had the best ALL AROUND numbers and stats. Lets not forget he also won the gold glove. Boo Hoo to all the haters out there.

Better all-around numbers?

Rollins: .296 average, .344 OBP, .531 SLG, .875 OPS
Holliday: .340 average, .405 OBP, .607 SLG, .1.012 OPS

Hell, Holliday's batting average was almost higher than Rollins' on-base percentage.

Holliday's REAL stats if he hits in a normal ballpark. .299 AVG, 20 HRs, 70 RBIs

People haven't gotten the memo, but Coors Field is now the size of Dikembe Mutumbo's johnson. It's a huge, huge ballpark. The offensive pinball of several years ago no longer applies. In fact, what rated as the most homer-friendly ballpark in baseball in 2007? Gasp! Philadelphia!

to all those rocky fans who are using statistics as argument just shut up.....rollins was the real mvp.

I hate all of you. Death to America.