Silly Rays, sunshine's for gays

Marv Blackstone
Editor-in-chief

Yesterday, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays unveiled a new logo and an updated set of uniforms to their fans. Switching away from the green look, which switched away from the original purple, teal and yellow seizure, the team is going to introduce a "classic" navy and white look. The uniforms were modeled during a fashion show by the team's players, which sounds incredibly gay.

Not that there's anything, uh, you know.

Companies are always re-packaging their products, slapping labels like "New look, same great taste!" on the packaging. What the shit is that supposed to mean? That I'm paying more for my weekly box of chili just because the bastards down at Hormel decided to hire a new graphic design firm to give their product a more rugged feel? I know it's still the same salty, beefy chili inside. God damn, it's 6:36 in the morning and I already want chili.

My point is, why do baseball teams do this? The Devil Rays will still suck, but they expect to appease all 38 of their fans for another year with new aesthetics. Maybe they should go get some fucking pitching first.

As for me, I'm going to go get some chili before I type another word.