OK, I'll do it. But only for the fruit snacks.

By Dakota Brezinski
Six-year-old

I always sit in the corner of my kindergarten class, next to the window. Last year, when I was moved to another room after that time I glued Wiggles the hamster to my desk, I sat in my usual spot, next to the window. But the teacher said that was Jackson Tarkington's spot.

But this was the way it has always been. Daddy quit his job last year because he said there were changes, and they wanted him to do something different than he was good at. He said he needed to go somewhere else, where he could do what he was born to do. I also overheard him telling my neighbor Mr. Williams that he grabbed his secretary's beautiful butt one day. Actually, he called it "fine ass." I think that's related to why he left.

I told my new teacher that I had never grabbed any fine ass and there was no reason to make me change what I have always known. They called daddy. I kicked and screamed and tried to pee on the people that pulled me out of the chair, and I even pretended that I didn't speak English. But in the end, they moved me somewhere else. I couldn't do my math. I couldn't do my spelling. I couldn't focus in my new position.

In the end, I accepted my new place because they told me they would take away my fruit snacks if I didn't start behaving. But I am sad in my new location. Nobody asked me before I changed rooms if this was where I wanted to sit. Nobody wanted to know how I felt. They just assumed I would be OK with it.

Alfonso Soriano is my hero. He did not want to move, so he sat out, and everybody was really mad at him but he would not change. However, today, he decided he would move after all. I think they threatened to take away his fruit snacks.

Bastards.