Vince Young, Wonder-boy

By Marv Blackstone
Editor-in-chief

Honestly folks, I have slept for 76 of the last 90 hours. I don't even know why, but I just keep falling asleep. I guess I wake up for brief, fuzzy moments and then drift back into the nightmarish hell that is Marv's sleep. I had a dream at some point during this stretch in which I looked down to see my dead grandmother was crawling up my leg with a knife between her teeth. Or maybe it was Hunter S. Thompson. I can't recall.

I'm mildly concerned about this, but then again, things like this seem to clear themselves up just fine with me. Remember when my urine smelled like chicken noodle soup? Yeah, that was a problem, too. But it's back to normal now.

Now that I'm awake, I see that various news outlets are reporting that Vince Young is an idiot. So? What's your point? We told you he wasn't going to be any good about a month ago. And now he scores a 6 on the Wonderlic test, retakes it and gets a 16.

Speaking of Wonderlic, I spent some time with Ellen Degeneres a few years ago, and whenever I called her "Ellen" she would cut me off and insist I call her Wonderlic. I find this to be a strange coincidence.

The Wonderlic is not hard. Here's a sample question:

If a pad of paper costs 21 cents, how much does it cost to buy four pads of paper?

The answer, of course, is "21 cents for a pad of paper?!? Where do I sign?"

Probably on the pad of paper, I imagine.

If Vince Young can't do basic multiplication, I have no idea how one expects him to successfully run a Norm Chow (normchow) designed offense in Tennessee. I was never high on Vince Young (but I was high on mescaline just a few hours ago), but this drops his stock even lower on my Big Board.

If any of you ladies out there want to see my Big Board, shoot me an e-mail.

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