Daddy wants Cinderella; I want Teddy Grahams

By Dakota Brezinski
Six-year-old

Daddy says this is the time of the year when everyone wants to see Cinderella.

I like Cinderella, especially because of the little fat mouse named Gus. We had a mouse in our house once, but we didn't name it Gus. Daddy called it the Screwing Bastard. He didn't say Screwing. I wanted to name it Gus anyway, so I built him a fort out of Daddy's dirty magazines from the closet. Daddy called it my Smut Hut. Then he took his magazines back.

I don't know why Cinderella is so great in March. To me, the best Disney movie is The Little Mermaid, but since that has fishies, that's better for June or July. The fishies in March are still frozen, except my goldfish Suzie. She didn't die because she was frozen. She died because I wanted to see what the dishwasher detergent would do in the fishbowl. It disappeared! Poor Suzie.

Sleeping Beauty is an oldie but a goodie, but that's for a month like December or January when everything is dark all the time and everyone is thinking about sleeping all the time. Maybe that's just Ms. Westchester at school, who says the winter months make her think of sleeping and ending it all quietly. I don't think Ms Westchester likes math.

Toy Story is good, but that's only for December and CHRISTMAS TIME, when we all get TOYS TOYS TOYS. Well, I get toys, Daddy gets tools, and Mommy gets new underwear, some jewelry, and a half hour in the shower with Daddy while I play with my new games.

Aladdin is all about magic, so that movie should be shown in September, when the magic leaf fairy turns the trees pretty colors. And then i jump in big piles of leaves and get attacked by slugs and bugs. The Lion King is great for August, because the African place is dry and cracked like August when I play in the empty lot across the street. Mommy doesn't know I go there, but it's really safe. Except for the broken rusty fence everywhere. And the mean doggie who looks like Scar from the Lion King.

So, I guess March is okay for Cinderelly. I just don't know why so many old men go drink beer to watch it ... because I kinda think it should be for kids only. But I also think Daddy shouldn't have dollies, and he does have one, named Greta. She's in the same closet as the dirty magazines.