I want to be like Kobe

By Dakota Brezinski
Six-year-old

Kobe doesn't share. Why should I have to share?

Daddy says that Kobe Bryant scored 81 points a few nights ago because he doesn't ever share. But everyone loves Kobe. That man with the twitchy eye talks about him all the time on SportsCenter and calls him a player hater, which my friend Tanner says is the best kind of player. He sure must be great if people always talk about him.

So I'm not going to share anymore, either. I don't care what Mrs. Thigpen says in art class. Mrs. Thigpen smells like cat anyway. And also, like bananas that have turned brown and yucky.

Sharing is not caring.

Cindy Margolies wanted me to share the book I was reading during reading time but I said I was still looking at it. She said I had been looking at it for a long time and I told her to step off, player. I told her Kobe never shares but she didn't know who Kobe was. She started crying, so I hit her with the book. They called Daddy.

Andy with the long and stupid last name wanted to play with my basketball at recess. I said I had to keep shooting until I got 81 points. He said that it wasn't fair because there was only one basketball, but I told him he could have it when he was Kobe Bryant. He said I was dumb. I kicked him in the privates. I don't understand ... why would people want to share with me? Nobody wants to share with Kobe.

I decided I would no longer be sharing my coat rack with the other six kids nearby. So I put all their coats on the hallway floor. I decided I didn't want to share my table with Bobby Pelkofer and McKenna Zander anymore during art time. I put gum on their chairs to let them know. I decided I no longer wanted to share my circle at all during circle time. So I stood in the middle and danced and sang you and me baby aint nothing but mammals until everyone moved away. They called Daddy.

I don't know why they got so mad. I wanted to inspire them to be better. I wanted to step up and be the one people relied on when it was all on the line. I guess they just wanted to hear the story Mrs. Thomas was reading. It was about Charlie the Choo-Choo. I think Charlie dies in the end.

Someday, I will be like Kobe, and I will score 81 points in a game. I will buy my wife a big giant ring after I get in trouble for doing something naughty, and then I will take a game winning shot and everyone will cheer! But I will never, ever, ever share. Daddy says it's the golden rule of Kobe. And I want to obey the golden rule. Mrs. Thomas said so.