Carrots derby carrots

By Big Brown
Horse

Love me some carrots, eating carrots all day thinking about big race, lots of horses and I’m Big Brown thinking about carrots. Carrots. Kentucky Derby driving to Churchill Downs and running all day cuz they’ll give me carrots if I win and roses or something smells nice.

Eight Belles. She the first philly in big race in a long, long time. I wonder what she’s doing later, she’s pretty but not as fast as me. Want to win because (CARROTS!) then they’ll let me get with whole lotta mares and maidens and make Little Brown babies. Love me some lovin. Not sure what the big fuss about Kentucky Derby is, but folks love it and so do I cuz I run fast thinking about oats and wheat and carrots.

Why my name Big Brown anyway? Named after Santonio Holmes. He's not hung like a horse, cuz I’m hung like a horse. Hear that, Eight Belles? Racing against Z Humor and Z Fortune, they brothers or something? They’re gonna team up and try to stop Big Brown, but not worried cuz I’m the fastest horsy in the stable.

Eight Belles looks good in the sunlight. Can’t see at night, else she might look good then, too. Hot mama. Not as fast as me though, cuz I’m Big Brown running and MOTHERFUCKING CARROTS! Stop whipping me, elfboy. I go fast, and you keep whippin.

Hungry.