Oh my GOD this is so sad

By Brenda McDonald
High School Socialite

Breakups are, like, hard.

Last year, Erika Radinski was dating Tommy Clark, who's such a meathead, because he totally asked her if they could have an open relationship. I totally had to explain to Erika that he meant still go out while sleeping with other girls, most likely that hussy Charlotte Wilkins on the cheerleading squad. Her legs are, like, never closed.

Some people are together forever because it's, like, destiny. But sometimes they're together forever and it sucks really bad, like when Mina Westcott was dating Jeremy Rogan for like two years! Ugh. He smelled like musky awful cologne all the time and he was NOT that hot, and he totally loved himself. What a loser. But she looooved him, probably because his parents have like this house in the mountains and they can go skiing and stuff. Anyway, they FINALLY broke up after he made out with some FRESHMAN! It was so not meant to last.

So like, Joe Torre and George Steinbrenner? Can you totally believe that it lasted that long? TWELVE YEARS. That's like, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman long. And I have SEEN relationships where one person starts to go crazy. Marshall Vickers got all weird like three months after he started dating Kelly Capris, and we totally found out like three months after he disappeared that he was snorting cocaine. Plus, my grandpa got all forgetful and started yelling at the walls and stuff, and grandma just stood by his side. That's love. So this thing in New York was, like, love I guess.

So George got all crazy, and Joe just sat by his side, kind of like my grandma with her knitting. It was so cute! But in the end, it's kind of like Erika and Tommy. I mean, George's offer to keep the relationship up was totally harsh. Joe did a lot for George, with all those rings that he got him and stuff. But George wanted to pay him less per year even though he makes the playoffs like every season? That's sadness :(

Joe will totally find someone else, though. That's how it always works. It's like a carousel of love -- everyone is always looking to hook up with someone, especially someone who's a catch. Hello? Like, Peter Angelos, are you listening? Like, whoever takes over in St. Louis? There is a possibility for a LOVE CONNECTION here. I'll bring the makeup.