Freddy's Fantasy Flotsam

Freddy Baird
Fantasy Expert

Hell yes. What a weekend in fantasy sports. Adrian "All Day" Peterson went off against the Bears; Maurice Jones-Drew rose from the dead; Tom Brady continued his march toward Canton, and surely Bridget Moynahan noticed that. She must be angrier than Lindsay Lohan after finding out all of her crack is gone. Either way, the Miami Dolphins continue to look uglier than Spencer Pratt's goatee, except for Ronnie Brown, who is steadier than Lindsay Lohan's hands when she's not on crack.

With that said, on to the e-mails!

I'm torn on a trade offer I received. Another owner has offered me Rudi Johnson and Steve Smith for Tomlinson. I'm thin at wide receiver and could use the help there. What do you think?
- Dave, Littleton, Colo.

Are you serious? You're thinking about taking that offer? What I would do is drive to that other owner's house and spray him with Britney Spears' urine. Right in his stupid trade-mongering face. If someone offered me a deal like that, I'd never speak to him again, and I might even kill his dog.

Do you have an advice on waiver pickups for Week 7? I'm in trouble because I have several guys who will all be on bye in the same week.
Rick, Albany, New York.

Look, this is your own damn fault. The number six rule of fantasy drafting is to pay attention to bye weeks. If you told someone that you came away from draft day with Carson Palmer, Adrian Peterson, Brian Westbrook and Chad Johnson, they'd probably be impressed. I wouldn't. I'd immediately know that all four of those guys had byes in Week 5. And you probably lost that week, didn't you? I'm not going to answer this question, and I hope your league-mates talked some serious smack about this issue on the league message board.

Is Dwayne Bowe for real? He's made some great grabs and looks like he's going to have an impact from here on out.
- Larry, Mesa, Ariz.

Elementary. Of course he's for real. I told one of my friends in the preseason that Dwayne Bowe would have a better year than Calvin Johnson. He looked at me like I was crazier than Lindsay Lohan on a crack binge. But who's crazy now? Not me. I own Bowe in 22 of my 26 leagues, and he's been like manna from H-E-A-V-E-N.

Any advice on buy-low targets for the rest of the year? I'm sitting at 3-3 right now, so this would be a good time to make a move for me. I'm thinking about making an offer for Torry Holt because he's struggled lately.
- Melissa, San Diego, Calif.

Whoa whoa whoa. A chick who plays fantasy football? Who lives in San Diego? Be still my Brandon Marshall-loving heart. If you ever need a league to get into, you just drop me a line. I would love to show you the ways. And I'm sure you'd love to have me show you, with my hands that have compiled 11 industry league titles since 1998. Mmmm. Also, buy low on Vince Young.