The World Series of awesome

By Bandwagon Burt
Wind Sock

HOLY FREAKING CHUTES AND LADDERS, BATMAN! The Yankees are out after ONE ROUND of the playoffs, which means George Steinbrenner is totally going to fire Joe Torre and hire Joe Girardi or Bobby Valentine or Don Zimmer to run the team! Viva la Revolution! It's going to be crazy! I can't even remember the last time the Yankees were out after one round, it has to be like 10 years since that last happened! It's hard to imagine the Yankees not in the World Series, but someone still has to win, so without further ado, here's Burt's WORLD SERIES PREVIEW. I'm a one-man Preview Channel!

With the Yankees gone, predicting a World Series winner is HARD, except it's definitely the Boston Red Sox. MANNY BEING MANNY! Did you see him hit that super A-Bomb past the Coke bottles against K-Bombed? That was AMAZING. He totally let that ball get by him in the outfield earlier in the game, knowing he was going to hit that big home run. He's dramatic! And with Big Papi hitting game-winning home runs like once every other game, and incredible ace Curt Schilling still pitching like a Cy Young candidate, it's hard to imagine the Red Sox ever losing a game, especially to Cleveland, which doesn't really have that great of a team, if you ask me. They're from Cleveland, don't they always choke? But the Red Sox have bad boy superfly Josh Beckett, closer Jon Papelbon and the JAPANESE MACHINE Dice-K. That K stands for STRIKEOUT. I never understood why that's the letter they use to abbreviate, but that's HOW IT IS, and Dice-K is gonna get you to swing and miss! I can't wait.

I didn't even mention Dustin Pedroia, who is probably the best rookie middle infielder in the last 10 years! Or Hideki Okajima, who is probably the best rookie middle reliever in the last 10 years! The Red Sox have all the middles covered! They're middle men! And they're going to beat Cleveland quickly and easily. Prediction: Red Sox in seven.

In the National League, the Rockies are winning EVERY SINGLE GAME, and that's because of (MVPMVPMVP) Matt Holliday, who is going to be MVP. They also have Todd Helton and Troy Tulowitzki, who is going to be in a tough race with Pedroia for rookie of the year. Plus, they hit tons and tons of home runs becuase they play in Coors Field, and they have JAPANESE MACHINE Kaz Matsui hitting triples and stuff. HE'S THE KAZMANIAN DEVIL!

The Diamondbacks are exciting because they have former World Series MVP Livan Hernandez (and his name is Livan! and he shall be a good man! Taylor Hicks sang that song on Idol -- I picked Taylor to win that thing from the start) and Brandon Webb, who had a scoreless innings streak that lasted a bunch of innings earlier this year. They should call him Spider Man because his last name is Webb. SPIDER SENSES ON, STRIKE THREE CALLED.

This series has a lot of color, and not just because the team colors are purple and maroon! I like the Diamondbacks, probably in five games. Or the Rockies in five games. It's definitely not going to six!