Hey now, you're an All-Star!

By Bandwagon Burt
Wind Sock

Ticky tick tick tick tick tick! Nope, not talking about that July 4 camping trip you and your family are headed on (haha, ticks!), I’m talking about the fact that time is running out to get your last votes in for the 2006 ALL-STAR GAME THIS ONE COUNTS in Pittsburgh this year. I’ve been spending my last hours submitting ballot after ballot of my favorite picks to represent in the Steel City. Who should go to the Midsummer Night’s Dream? Here’s the scoop!

First base: In the National League, how can you say no to ALBERT PUJOLS?! He’s probably the greatest player we’ll ever get a chance to see, unless anyone was around to actually see Reggie Jackson play. It’s tough though, because I really, really, really like D-LEE from Chicago, who is an all-star in my mind even though he missed a couple weeks with an injury. Tough call, but it’s FAT ALBERT. In the American League, it’s all Jason Giambi, all the time! Man, he showed all those people who thought he took steroids by having a great year without them this year. Nobody makes the pinstripes look better. Special mention to NOMAH!

Second base: In the American League it’s that scrappy little Asian fella Tadahipolito Iguchi! That guy is so scrappy and hit like three home runs in a game to almost beat the Astros last week. I love him, and he plays for YOUR WORLD CHAMPION Chicago White Sox. GUCH! In the NL, you have to go with a sleeper…Chase Utley of Philadelphia! I know you’ve never heard of him but look at that man’s numbers! In a fight though, I would go with GUCH over Utley.

Third base: What a tough call in the NL between the GREEK GOLDEN GOD David Wright Stuff and Scott Rolen and Rocken from St. Louey. They’re both having career years, I think, and David Wright Stuff has that boyish smile. I declare a tie between the two of them! And in the AL, who else could you possibly go with? A-ROD! A-ROD! A-ROD! Did you see him hit that grand slam the other night? So clutch. Nobody makes the pinstripes look better.

Shortstop: Speaking of clutch, how about DEREK JETER. That guy is a gamer. Gives 110% EVERY TIME and dives into the stands to get fly balls. He’s the heart of the entire All-Star team. If they win the game, it’s because Derek was their floor leader. He’s the sparkplug. The glue that holds the whole thing together. Nobody makes the pinstripes look better. The best shortstop in the NL is David Eckstein because that guy has so much heart and works so hard and is so great! Tony La Russa is so lucky to have him. GAMERS AT SHORSTOP. It’s like the official position of gamers everywhere!

Catcher: Jason Varitek wears that “C” on his jersey for a reason, people…it’s because he’s captain of the AL ALL-STAR TEAM! There is no better backstop in baseball. Varitek is so clutch and without him, the Red Sox would probably only be a .500 team. I don’t know any NL catchers, but I think if I had to choose, I would say Jorge Posada. He wouldn’t mind catching for the NL.

Outfield: The AL is easy: Johnny Damon, Manny Ramirez and Hideki Matsui. WOW! That’s probably the best outfield OF ALL TIME. Manny’s just being Manny all the time and hitting home runs and Johnny Damon – don’t let him fool you folks, under that clean cut look, he’s actually JESUS! Hideki is GODZILLA. In the NL, you definitely have to go with MR. 500 HOME RUNS Ken Griffey Jr., Carlos Beltran and maybe Bobby Abreu, because I want to see that mad home run derby performance from last year. He had like 24 dongs! That’s INSANE! Who’s Matt Holliday?

DH: Big Papi. ‘Nuff said. SO CLUTCH.

Pitchers: The starters would probably have to be Curt Schilling for the AL, with Randy Johnson coming in later followed by Mike Mussina. In the NL, I LOVE Chris Carpenter, and then I have some surprise picks: Brandon Webb (he plays for Arizona where Johnson and Schilling used to pitch) and Bronson Arroyo (he plays for Cincinnati and has long golden hair). Closers would definitely have to be Jason Isringhausen and JON PAPELBON! That guy is going to be rookie of the year! He has like 30 saves.

This is probably going to be the best all-star game we’ve ever seen with these rosters. I’ll be really excited to see who gets the nod tonight…I’ll be watching for that right after Mets-Red Sox. Holla!