The Jetsam 1.23.08

What is the sports equivalent of this? Neifi Perez saying that Nick Punto is a great hitter?

Here's a video from Gawker of Tom Cruise talking about Scientology. I don't even have to comment.

Even though I'm not quite over Green Bay's loss last weekend, I don't particularly mind Lawrence Tynes, since he gave the Packers three freaking chances to win. I also appreciate when an athlete can laugh at his damn self. I suppose it's funnier because they won, but it's still cool.

We. are. almost. there.

Project Runway update: The designers go all-denim, and relatively boring Victorya and Jillian end up in the crosshairs. Victorya ultimately gets the boot, while disappointing Ricky has the best outfit of the day. Sweet-P made my favorite, but I don't expect her to be in the final three. Heidi Klum: still hot.

The Jetsam 1.22.08

One must love Kenny Williams and the funny things he does. Two years, 11 million dollars would be a steal for someone of Octavio Dotel's caliber, if this were 2003. Much-ballyhooed statistic: Dotel has thrown 56 innings in the last three years, with a 5.14 ERA. Pitchers who exceeded the 56-inning mark last year with a better ERA include Matt Thornton, Yusmeiro Petit, Jason Frasor, Tom Mastny, Kevin Cameron, Scott Downs, Frank Francisco, Brian Tallet, and Brandon Morrow.

Oh my God, Heath Ledger died. Here's to hoping his posthumous movie finale, the new Batman movie, will be way better than Aaliyah's going away party, "Queen of the Damned." Hollywood still owes me 8 bucks for that one.

Also, Jonathan Brandis, Brad Renfro and now Ledger? What the hell is happening to our late-90s kid stars? Someone keep an eye on Jonathan Taylor-Thomas.

The Packers might have lost the game (damn you, Al Harris!), but they're gaining some new respect, one bikini top at a time.

My inner geek starts showing when I read over articles about where baseball talent is coming from, but it's still interesting stuff. Especially where in the country the talent is coming from.

The Jetsam 1.18.07

Hire Jim Essian has a fascinating article about a bloggers' luncheon with Cubs' GM Jim Hendry. It's not often we get to hear unfiltered comments from front-office people. Especially interesting is Hendry's comment that he "paid Mark Prior $7 million to sit in a hot tub for two years."

The Mitchell Report has taught us that nobody really knows which players are on steroids and which ones aren't. That's not stopping John Donovan from formulating an "All-Clean Team". These are guys that don't do steroids, I just know it in my heart. I felt that way about Fernando Vina, and boy is the egg ever on my face now.

We're with you, UmpBump.

Question asked by ESPN analyst Rob Parker about the Golfweek Magazine Cover that has everyone abuzz -- if you wanted to call attention to Jewish-American issues the same way the mag tried to call attention to African-American issues, would you put a gas chamber on the cover? At first uttered, my response: that's a ridiculous analogy. Then, I realized it's actually pretty accurate. Damn. Seldom do media outlets mea culpa so quickly.

Eli is off to Florida for some bloody weekend vacation, leaving me (JR) to update the glorious Jetsam. To celebrate the Cat Being Away, this mouse tried finding the most delicious piece of cheese to post, knowing that an infuriated Eli is probably reading in his 80-degree weather, and the steam rising from his head is blowing those Mickey Mouse ears right off. Mmmm...cheese.

The Jetsam 1.17.08

• Stupid children and their unwillingness to support the home team. Some kids don't want to drink milk with their meals, and yet parents force them. No restraining orders are getting filed over that one.
• Some guy got his 5-month-old baby in a picture with every presidential candidate. Once Hillary Clinton gets elected president and everyone hates her, too, that little girl is going to be pissed.
• Ewww. Nobody wants to be diagnosed with Baghdatis.
• Project Runway watch: Two-person teams leave the wrong people on the chopping block, and talented Kit gets the boot. Such bullshit, when people like Ricky still in the game. Heidi Klum: still hot.
• Kelly Dwyer of Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sports has the real scoop on why Jamaal Tinsley was suspended by the Pacers.
• GoDaddy.com created an ad for the Super Bowl that featured Danic Patrick and repeatedly used the word "beaver." It was rejected.
  

The Jetsam: 1.16.08

Everyone loves links. And not every Internet reader sees everything. So we've decided to occasionally post a few links that we've found interesting during our days mindlessly surfing the Web, from out remote Montana cabin.

It's not a revolutionary concept, but goddamnit, we can't re-invent the wheel for you people every day.

Click away.

- Bill Parcells' first big move as Dolphins' GM was to hire Tony Sparano. ESPN's Matt Mosley examines the question: Who the hell is Tony Sparano? [sidenote: how many Tony Soprano jokes will we have to endure?]

- Baseball Prospectus takes a look at breakout candidates for 2008. And yes, Dioner Navarro is included.

- CBS Sportsline's Mike Freeman says Philip Rivers is a little bitch. As one of Flotsam's least-favorite NFL players, we totally agree.

- The show must go on for Oscar. Will it ever match the hype and glamour of the ESPY's?

- A Las Vegas judge doubled OJ Simpson's bail. I just can't believe OJ Simpson is 60 years old.

- 11 signs that your new girlfriend is a restraining order waiting to happen.