600 THINGS ABOUT GRIFFEY!

By Bandwagon Burt
Wind Sock

I love Ken Griffey, Jr., and last night he hit home run No. 600!! I know people think it's an arbitrary number, but people also think that Michael Jordan's six championships is also an arbitrary number. GRIFFEY IS THE JORDAN of baseball.

To honor the 600 homers that Griffey has parked, I give you my list of SIX-HUNDRED THINGS that make me think of Ken Griffey, Jr.!

1. home runs
2. the Topps rookie card that I lost when I was in high school
3. Norm Charlton
4. Left-handedness
5. Ken Griffey, Sr. and PLAYING IN THE SAME OUTFIELD with his son.
6. Knee pain
7. Future Hall of Famer Barry Larkin
8. Sid Bream sliding into home plate on Francisco Cabrera's RBI single
9. HOME RUN DERBY, FOLKS
10. Barry Bonds
11. Super Nintendo
12. The Kid
13. In 1988, 277 aspirin and a Providence hospital
14. My bathroom tile, fusing Mariners and Reds colors in a cornucopia of awesome.
15. Willie Mays
16. Wheaties cereal and 2% milk.
17. Additional knee pain
18. The warehouse at Camden Yards
19. Scoring from first on a double
20. gloves dipped in gold
21. The Space Needle (no NOT RYAN ANDERSON, HAHAA).
22. Mike Cameron, Brett Tomko and Antonio Perez
23. Back Home Again in Cincinnati, a variation on some song about another state.
24. the disabled list
25. Father's Day! My kids better get me something electronic this year, or I am going to go POSTAL. The Lord of the Rings DVDs they got me last year were LAME. Just because they're six and eight doesn't mean they can't figure out what daddy wants for Father's Day.
26. Comeback Player of the Year
27. Adam Dunn's hilarious outfield play
28. Bilbo Baggins
29. Reggie Jackson, MR. OCTOBER
30. Pleurisy
31. Ryan Freel and his imaginary friends
32. Jay Buhner's business goatee
33. Randy Johnson's MASTERFUL MULLET
34. A groin strain, suffered on my walk to the supermarket last fall.
35. The television show "Scrubs"
36. The Simpsons. DON'T HAVE A COW, MAN
37. OH MY GOD, I'M ONLY ON NO. 37
38. Will Smith and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air
39. Commissioner Bud Selig
40. The number 30. Also, the number 3.
41. Tomatoes filled with poisons
42. Knee pain
43. Little Big League and Angels in the Outfield
44. SUMMER CATCH WITH FREDDIE PRINZE, JR.
45. Other people named Jr. Like Dale Earnhardt, Roy Jones and ROBERT DOWNEY IRON MAN.
46. The tearing down of the Berlin Wall
47. the National Anthem
48-95. The members of the 1997 Seattle Mariners baseball team, especially Paul Sorrento and Paul Spoljeric. MIKE BLOWERS!
96. A smooth swing from the left side of the plate
97. My kitty, Buttons
98. Freshly cut grass by my irritating neighbor
99. Deadspin
100. HOME RUNS

Wow, that's a lot of stuff already, so I think I'll just multiply all those by six and you have SIX-HUNDRED. I LOVE KEN GRIFFEY, JR.