CAVS AND CAV NOTS

By Bandwagon Burt
Wind Sock

That headline was on ESPN today and it blew my mind (CAVS OR CAV NOTS?) I love it! It totally talks about how there is a new power shift in the NBA, how the Cleveland Cavaliers are the new NBA dynasty. Everything is coming together for LeBron and his merry men!

They made the super-uber trade of the millenium and acquired BEN WALLACE and WALLY WORLD for some guys I've never heard of, and Donyell Marshall, Larry Hughes and Dwight Gooden and Ira Newble. Sure, they gave up a lot, but they got BEN WALLACE and his hair! He was having an awesome year in Chicago before he got traded, and now he makes Cleveland the best defensive team in the league. He blocks everything. You've been rejected! He's like Visa every time I call them for a new credit limit. "You've been rejected!" I'm going to start calling him Visa Wallace!

And Wally Sceezzerbacaieka is the best white player in the NBA since HELLO JOHN STOCKTON, and he came from J-Crew U Miami of Ohio and he's been tearing up the NBA for years now. He's the whole reason the SuperSonics hadn't left Seattle yet, and now that he's gone, it's going to be HOLA MEXICO CITY SUPERSONICS. Or maybe Cincinnati.

So Wally is going to be John Stockton to LeBron's Karl Malone, except Bron Bron is WAY better than Karl Malone and John Stockton combined. Ben Wallace is going to be a big tall center in that equation. Olden Polynice! Did he play for the Jazz? Wait, GREG OSTERTAG!

Except Ben Wallace is blacker and has bigger hair. VISA WALLACE. HE DON'T TAKE AMERICAN EXPRESS. In this metaphor, the American Express is the EASTERN CONFERENCE.

The Cavs are unstoppable now. Sure, the Lakers have Kobe and Pau and the Suns have Shaq Fu and the Mavs have Jason Kidd and the Nets have Keith Van Horn, but the Cavs are the new look franchise with title on their mind. It's the BIG THREE IN CLEVELAND.