BASEBALL

By Bandwagon Burt
Wind Sock

Today is the greatest day of the year! Seriously, it's better than New Year's Eve, Halloween, Memorial Day and my birthday COMBINED! SPRING TRAINING BEGINS TODAY.

I have posted a different spring training picture on my computer desktop every 15 minutes on a rotating basis. DID YOU SEE THE GREEN GRASS? Oh my god, how come you aren't as excited as I am about pitchers and catchers reporting?! It's THE GREATEST DAY OF THE YEAR. Baseball is in the air, I can smell it and it smells like HEAVEN! Heaven smells like baseballs and cinnamon rolls.

I don't understand how you can't be as excited as I am, obviously I am a better baseball fan than you. I don't care when opening day is, this day is way more important. Because now you know that baseball is going on, somewhere in the planet. Before now, it was only going on in places that don't count, like the Dominican Republic.Do YOU SEE THAT? That's Pedro, and Willie Randolph and GREEN GRASS IN THE BACKGROUND. They aren't talking about cock-fighting, they're talking about baseball!! How can you not look at pictures like this and feel the sudden and terrifying urge to urinate all over the place? Don't you appreciate baseball? Let's do another one:

Oh my God that's JASON HIRSCH from the Rockies, and even though it's raining there, you can see the GREEN GRASS in the background. It's spring there! It's baseball season? I totally called the Rockies getting to the playoffs last year, and I like them again this year. I also have a hunch the Mets are going to do well, so I'm really excited to see what they can do this time around. THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST YEAR YET, except maybe compared to last year, which was pretty great.

I have this day circled in bright red ink on all my calendars. Because to day is not D-Day, it's B-Day. BASEBALL DAY. I don't understand why you aren't as excited.