Freddy's Fantasy Flotsam

Freddy Baird
Fantasy Expert

Folks, I am back. Yes, it was a scary time for me after the Brian Westbrook debacle in December. But after some long counseling sessions, I believe that I have returned as a better man with more balanced priorities in life. I still enjoy fantasy sports, but hopefully I will not allow it to consume me as it has in the past. Flotsam has graciously allowed me to return to spread my fantasy seed among the masses, and I truly hope you will enjoy reading my column as I yet again try to get my life back in order.

On to your questions!

Hey Freddy! Can you believe how that Super Bowl ended? I never thought the Patriots would lose. Do you think this will impact Tom Brady's status as the top fantasy quarterback heading into next season?
- Ted Lehman, Munster, Ind.

Are you stupid? Tom Brady threw for 4,806 yards and 50 touchdowns this season. Who else would you choose as the top quarterback? Someone stupid like you probably would pick Alex Smith. God damn, you're a moron. What a stupid question. By the way, I predicted the Giants would beat the Patriots. I won $300 on a bet than Eli Manning would be the Super Bowl MVP, which I promptly turned around and donated to Ron Paul's campaign. You'd be wise to do the same, if you value your FREEDOM.

Yo, Freddy. i was wunderin what you thought of the shaq trade to phoenix. whats it going to do for marion and o'neels value? i have both on my fantasy team.
- mark d., tacoma, washington

Well, I sure hope your league doesn't count free throw percentage if you own Shaq. In fact, I hope your only league categories are field-goal percentage, rebounds and fat centers who star in terrible commercials. You'd be in first place in that league.

Clearly, this move is a hit to both players' value. Marion can't create his own shot and with a slower offense, there won't be as many rebounds for him to grab. I think you might see more points from him, but his other stats will probably drop, especially his percentages.

Shaq is probably going to die from exhaustion after his first few fast breaks, so I'd probably trade him while he's still breathin. If you're good, you'll package him along with someone like Royal Ivey and get yourself Deron Williams. That's what I would do.

Do you think the trade to New York will help Johan Santana this season? Shea is a good pitcher's park, and a new league will probably have trouble adjusting to him. Just my thoughts.
- Rick Manheim, Arlington, Texas

Did I ask for your thoughts? Who's giving the answers here? Christ, yes, it will help Santana to move to the Mets. Duh. But, then again, I've always known about Santana's value. Back in 1999, after the Marlins took him in the Rule 5 draft, I picked him in the third rounder of my main keeper league draft. While it didn't pay any dividends for nearly three years, it was the right move. Plus, my team was so flipping awesome that year that I didn't even need his services.

So, yes, expect Santana to completely dominate. I expect him to win 12-24 games, and put up an ERA between 1.40 and 3.95. He'll also strike out some batters. You can take that prediction to the bank.

That's all the time we have today, folks! I'll be back soon with relevant answers to your pertinent questions! Best wishes and have a blessed day!