It's all Bud Selig's fault

By Lynn DeBerg
Housewife


Bud Selig. Disgusting.

I'm sick of people defending him, throwing out "the game has never been better" as the world preps for yet another season of baseball. First of all, the man looks like a vampire. My son plays those awful video games on the X-Box, and one of his games has a bunch of evil characters that look just like Bud Selig. The man has obviously never heard of botox. Or antibacterial handwash. Anything to kill whatever is eating his face.

Second of all, how can you get behind a man that allows tie games to happen all the time? It was bad enough that the All-Star game in 2002 end deadlocked, but now baseball's first game in China has also ended in a tie. Where is the outrage?! I don't understand why one exhibition game infuriates a population, and the other is allowed to pass by without anyone noticing.

I'll tell you why; it's because people today don't like to make decisions. I was just talking with Susan Rowe next door about this. You see it in schools, you see it in the workplace -- everyone wants somebody else to make the tough calls. The world embraces wishy-washiness. Thank god for women. Also, nobody cares about anything that doesn't happen on their own soil. Turn on CNN once in a while, America! I flip to it for 90-second increments every day during Young and the Restless commercials, and you'd be amazed what you can learn.

I read the article about the tie game in China, and noticed this extraordinary bit:

Baseball is virtually unknown in China, and Major League Baseball is trying to cash in on a growing middle class with money to spend. Chinese fans, however, noticed what seasoned fans seldom do.

"The Dodgers uniforms look very good, flattering with a nice cut," said Sunny Fan, who identified himself as a professional "fashion consultant."

Sunny. Fan. Fashion consultant. Indecision, foreign outsourcing, and now even homosexuals are ruining baseball. I just think it's sad.