Brenda's BMOC All-Stars

By Brenda McDonald
High School Socialite

So, like back in November, I picked my pre-season All-Americans, which was really hard because there are a lot of hot guys who play Division 1 basketball, and none of them had played a game of basketball yet. Now that we're in championship week, when everyone goes like super-crazy for these tournaments that don't even matter if you're in a major conference, it's time for my postseason picks.

Tyler Hansbrough, North Carolina. So I already said that he was like, super hot without that awful mask from last year, and he spread his hotness all over the ACC all year. Have you totally seen that picture of him side-by-side with Beaker? Like, Muppets are totally endearing. If I ever had a fantasy about getting with a Muppet, it would be Tyler Hansbrough. Oh my god, shut up, don't look at me like that. You've totally had that fantasy, too.

Kevin Love, UCLA. Dreamboat! Like, if I had known that he was going to be so muscular and hot, I would never have put Darren Collison as the UCLA representative on my preseason list. He's suuuuuch a stallion, and he's like 32 years old, which makes him even hotter. Plus, he has that total porn name, which adds to his mystery, and probably guarantees addition to something else. And you know how I feel about running along the beaches in Southern Cal. Like, I love me some Love.

Michael Beasley, Kansas State. Tattoos are yummy when affixed to the right arms, and nobody has hunky guns like Mike B. When he's rich and famous after going as the top pick in the NBA Draft, I really hope I can find a way to get invited to parties at his mansion. Last year's parties were so lame after Greg Oden got all hurt and stuff. Injured basketball stars are gross.

Luke Harangody, Notre Dame. I really usually take a pass on players who are a little fatty, but Luke is like strong, and Notre Dame was really good because of him. And hello, I totally have a strong Catholic background, and he's from the most Catholicest place on Earth, and his name is Luke. He's like a prophet. That's so hot.

D.J. Augustin, Texas. At some point, I like totally need to have a guard, because they're so much easier to make out with in public. It's so not cool to see a 6-foot-13 guy hunched over while you try to make everyone else in the room jealous. But DJ is smaller, and quick and definitely dreamy. I could be his Southern cowgirl.