Death is like, sad

By Brenda McDonald
High School Socialite

I know what death is like, and it totally sucks.

Like, 5 summers ago, my family had a guineau pig named Einstein. We called it that because it's hair was really all over the place. It totally smelled and grossed me out, but I still cried a little bit when it died. It got run over by the lawnmower. Fur was like, everywhere.

So when someone like, really famous dies, it's super tragic. I was so sad when Heath Ledger died, for example, but I'm even sadder that Brett Favre is dead.

Brett is totally like this southern gentleman who is like, always smiling and laughing and probably smells really nice. Have you ever read "A Time To Kill" by John Grisham? I so haven't, but I saw the movie with dreamy Matthew McConaughey, and it was really good. That's what Mississippi is like -- lots of like, violence and alligators. And so Brett Favre sort of rose above all that to make a career in the NFL.

Seriously, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel needs to get with it ... they totally have a typo on his "in memorium" logo thing at the top. They said he's only been alive since 1992. Hello, he's not 15 years old. He's like, sixty.

Anyway, everybody is talking about Favre now, and sharing memories and totally loving him from beyond the grave, and that's really sweet. When my grandma died when I was little, we would go to her cemetery and sort of, like, talk to her. Grandmas are so great, and so is Brett Favre. I told her that I wanted to be a superstar cheerleader when I grew up, and that I just got the cutest pink dress for the Little Miss Oklahoma pageant. I was like, maybe someday I'll get to be a cheerleader in an NFL game. Maybe I could even be with a football player like Brett Favre. Never, like, give up on your dreams.

I don't think I'll go to Brett Favre's grave or anything, but I'm totally going to watch all the highlight packages and teary farewell speeches on SportsCenter tonight. Oh my god! He's so lovable. Like Teddy Ruxpin, except Southern and football-ish.