Jonny Dave hates racists

Jonny Dave Floyd
Southerner

Jonny Dave is a writer-slash-contributor for Flotsam Media. He’s white. He’s poor. He’s Southern. What else do you need to know?

I don’t know how many of y’all heard about that lady on the Golf Channel that tried to incite a buncha golfer boys to go out and lynch Tiger Woods. I’m guessin’ not too many of you, because dog fights still got more people watchin’ ‘em than the Golf Channel does.* Anyway, she apologized and everything’s supposed to be smoothed over, but Jonny Dave just can’t let it go, y’all. I gotta have my say.

Now, why can’t I let it go? Well, I’m a Southern white male from the lower class and you may be aware about the reputation of people like me. Apparently, we hate black people and strive to keep ‘em down.

I know that not everyone thinks that way. It’s mainly ignorant upper-class white people from the north that are afraid to leave the comfort of the city even though I guarantee they live in more segregated places than me that continue to perpetuate that stereotype. There ain’t no color barriers in lower-income housing or trailer parks, y’all.

Anyway, Jonny Dave is here to go on record as sayin’ that neither I, nor any of my family or friends, support the lynchin’ of Tiger Woods. Or anyone else for that matter. We’re all about love, y’all.

About this rich, white woman, though, I’d guess that she’s probably got some issues with people of color. This woman obviously doesn’t go on air without writin’ somethin’ or havin’ somebody write somethin’ for her, so she knew what she was sayin’.

That’s what’s so ridiculous about it all. I don’t know if this some sort of plan between her and her agent or producer or somethin’ to get her exposure and ratings or what. If it was, then they all need to fired and she needs a spankin’ from her momma. Besides, who in their right mind would wanna be known as the Golf Channel’s “Lynchin’ Lady”? That’s not the kind of exposure that’s good exposure.

She should try to be known as the Golf Channel’s “Black Man Lovin’ Lady”. She could have all kinds of videos showin’ herself just lovin’ on black dudes. All kinds of different black dudes. Shoot, there could be dudes of all different colors, for all I care. That there’s the good kind of exposure. It’d be better than her “lynch Tiger” video on YouTube. That’s for danged sure.

So, from now on, when y’all picture a racist in your head, don’t think of poor white dudes like me that talk with a drawl and drive pick-up trucks. Think about rich little white girls that probably say “like” every third word and were in a sorority at a really good college where they drank a lotta wine coolers, dated a lot of frat boys, and they only talked to black guys if they were on the basketball team and it was only to scare “Daddy” into noticin’ them.

Whoa, that got kinda mean in a hurry. Sorry, folks. You get my point, though. Rich people are the very worst people in the world. Never forget that. Wait, I don’t think that was my point, but it don’t even matter anymore. I’m done with my rantin’ and ravin’.

Y’all be good.

*Jonny Dave supports neither the watching of dog fights, nor the watching of the Golf Channel.